MUST LOVE LABS

Here are my dogs----Tara with the broad nose-----Daisy with the skinny.

 These are the dogs that slobber all over MY domain. The dogs that eat gross things and come in with horrible breath because they've eaten things that I won't mention.  The dogs that think OUR toilets are THEIR water bowls----dripping all over the bathroom, down the hallway and into the kitchen. And it always so happens that I disgustingly find it with my bare feet, or my bare bum :)  These are the mutts that try every morning to take over MY bed as I am clinging under a sliver of covers and barely any mattress.  These are the pooches that I stumble over in the kitchen as they lie in wait for something to get flung to them (preferably meat).  These are the hounds who's fur is everywhere imaginable........literally!  These are the doggies who's wet noses are smeared all over every window in the house.  These are the dogs that nap constantly in the sun just to make me jealous.   These are the mutts that are constantly in my way and I like it.

WHO'DA THOUGHT

I have the hardest time getting my sweet boy Jake, to put his clean socks, undies, pants and pajamas away when I have folded them.  Seems like a fairly easy task right?  WRONG!  He will often come to my room, grab his pile of nice smelling clothes and toss them into his room on the floor.  So, every time I do the laundry I remind and re-remind him to actually put them away.  He agrees, but then goes ahead and throws his shirts on the floor in the closet and closes the door.

Seriously.......I get so dog-gone frustrated that he can't just hang them up.  He has plenty of hangers, so really, I don't see the difficulty in my request. Day after day after darn-stinkin' day I have to harp on him to hang those shirts up. So, trying to please me, he did just that!

 Who'da thought that ONE hanger could hold THREE-FOUR shirts?  Not me.  I really had no argument with this as he did what I asked.  I just giggled and giggled when I opened the closet door and found this!!  Shirts crammed onto hangers and then squashed together to keep them from falling off!  I was actually shocked at the creativity here folks!  He's a genius.  I had no argument and although it bugs the crap out of me.....I'm not correcting this one!  Love you Jake!

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPS

I typically do not eat breakfast!  Today was an exception.  Everyday that I take the kids to school we pass the lovely small town "Country Donut" shop and I have always had the will power to resist---NOT TODAY!!!  I pulled into the parking lot, sent Maddy in to get 2 dozen donuts and I have been regretting it ever since.

We were even running a little late, but those dumb donuts sounded so darn good and let me reassure you....they were.  The kids slammed a couple down their throats on the way to school and the smell was too much for me to bare.  I headed home hoping to put them somewhere in the kitchen where they wouldn't sit and stare at me all day.  Instead I set them right in the middle of the island, box open, scent filling the air and that was it.

I grabbed not just one, but two fattening donuts and a calorie packed, caffeinated Mt. Dew and called it breakfast.  I felt sick for a moment after, but the taste was just too good to be true.  The day goes on and the donuts sit in their box, calling to me again.  FOUR total donuts today and feeling very guilty about the bad choice to pull into that darn parking lot, in the first place! I can feel them weighing on my hips....feels just lovely. The amount of exercise that is needed to burn these buggers off----I can't think about it.

SHE IS DONE

with diapers that is!

For the last 4 days I have been having Amber who is only 28 months old, wear big girl undies. (I say "only 28 months" cuz she is my baby)!  Like most potty stories, the first few days I would teeter back and forth with the diaper---then undies, diaper---undies etc.  I finally  just realized that she is going to get mixed signals if I continue my indecisiveness.

I came to grips with the fact that I am just going to have to face that dreaded poo accident that she will have at least once or twice in her unders. Also the pee accidents that I am sure will occur somewhere we regularly sit (like our sofa, or bed).  I can see it now...standing with a befuddled look on her face, pee streaming down her legs as she stands wondering why all of the sudden her urine is free to fall where she stands.

So I plunged in with all my might, hope, prayers, praises, confidence and love that I could muster up for potty training my last little one....AND IT WORKED!!!

I now am the proud mom of a potty-trained 2 yr. old and am loving it.  Although her bladder is still rather small and she escorts me to the bathroom far too many times in one day, I am free at last!  She still wears a pull-up at night, but hey, that is just fine with me as long as I don't have to cart around diapers anymore.

Amber caught on very quickly and loves to get praised for it.  I love her, and like the other kids, she too is growing up far too fast.

FRIENDS NIGHT

My oldest daughter, Madison has this way of conjuring up these"hang-out" dates with friends right before my eyes and somehow she gets my approval before I even know what I've agreed to.

Last weekend, she invited three boys and one girl- friend to our house to hang out, eat, play, eat some more etc.  Brandon Macintosh, Mitchell Larsen, Jay Kyle and Megan McCasline came over for a fun night @ the Crofts' house.  I have to admit that I was not looking forward to having a bunch of sweaty pre-teens at my house with stinky feet on my carpet, boy germs everywhere, food spilled, wrappers strewn across the patio etc. It turned out that I (and yes I know I am an adult) was totally into this party!!! I am very proud of Maddy and the friends that she has chosen.  They are great people and they didn't seem to care that Maddy's little brother and sister snuck their way into the fun.

Here are just a few pics of the night.  It was fun for some good friends to get together outside of the school setting.

FALL TRADITION

Every year when fall approaches we have this little tradition of going to the local farmhand feed store and purchasing 50-70 bales of straw.  Bill loves to take the truck and trailer to town and bring home what will later that day become a "fort" for the kids, or rather an "accident waiting to happen".
 
Sometimes it turns out to be a maze or whatever the kids can conjure up.  They use their imagination and Bill and I sit and watch them go to work.  The straw is theirs to do whatever they desire (except lighting it on fire)!!!!

Here are the kiddos enjoying the straw bales.  And here is the dad that provides all the fun for them! Such a fun and memorable tradition for the fall.

WATER BENDING

I have been meaning to show you the cutest, most imaginative boy of mine.  It's been some time since we were actually at the coast when this happened, but every time I see this little video I melt. I can't quite pinpoint why that is, but I think that it's because I believe that all of us at some point in our lives have wanted some kind of power that just isn't possible for us to own.  As I watched Jacob out there trying and truly believing that he was 'water bending' I, for a moment lived through him. I love the passion that he shows with every swoosh and straightening of his hands and arms.  I think that he actually believed that he was causing the waves to return to their proper place out in the ocean.

I felt that broken heart that moms feel when they see their kids pretending to have a certain 'power' yet knowing that it just isn't possible.  Maybe I am more sensitive about things like that, but if I could, I would absolutely grant my son the power to 'element' bend.

Jake, I love you more than life itself!!!

MY FALL CANNING

Autumn seems to hit me right in the gut when I am least expecting it.  Summer is a blur and my canning peaches & pears are a stinging reminder that the overcast weather is on it's way :(  

Every year it seems that if I miss out on canning it makes me feel a bit anxious and empty like I have missed an important meeting or something like that.  I get really worried around the end of July- feeling that I have already missed out on the Elberta's & bartlett's, when I clearly know that it isn't until the end of August-beginning of September when they are ready.  So when I find out that I have enough time to can, I do.   I tend to go overboard when purchasing them & later regretting the work that lies ahead.

One thing I do like is that these go straight into our food storage and throughout the remainder of the year we eat them and enjoy them even in the dead of winter.

If you aren't into canning.....I suggest you should be.  It is fun, it gives me a sense of satisfaction and most of all the great taste of the fruit!

FINALLY......FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

My body senses that it is time to get rolling when the alarm clock is set....

My eyes opened at exactly 6:49 this morning only ONE minute before that irritating beeping sound of the alarm clock had a chance to go off.  I quickly turned it to the "off" position to avoid the awful reminder having the chance to hit my eardrums(I hate starting my day off with such a nerve grinding sound).  My attempt was successful and I slowly rolled my stiff carcass out onto the floor kneeling next to the bed in weakness trying with all my might to muster up some sort of enthusiasm for my kids' sake....It's the first day returning to school.

  

My body, aching through my lower back and shoulders, head still spinning & a bit achy from the night before, knees stiff and eyes closed I meandered down the hallway wiping the sleep from my eyes praying that I will make it through the day.

  

Jake was my first victim....without turning on any lights, I gently rubbed the small of his back, feet and arms hoping not to irritate him too much--he was already depressed that school had crept up without a moments notice. He grumbled and then some more, I knew that was my cue to quickly escape before any harm could be done to me.  So I left for victim number 2--Ashley.

I was coldly startled when I walked into her room, window wide open only to find her at the very bottom of her bed in the fetal position with only one small blanket to shield her from the frigid, damp Oregon night weather. Why she had opened her window, I'll never know.  She was a bit easier to wake--she's been excited to go back to school since the middle of August.  My tender rub on her side & cheek got her to sit up immediately and off to the shower she went--- no complaints.

Madison had already been in and out of the shower when I got up.  She was dressed, doing her hair and checking herself out in her full sized bedroom mirror.  "Do I look ok mom?"  She asked in that pre-teen sarcastic sort of tone.  "You look great Maddy, you always do!"  I said smiling with flashbacks of those middle-school days of my own so long ago.

The miracle here.....we got out of the door on time! Not only on time, but with enough time to spare to snap these cute pictures of them.  I lined them up in front of the garage for pictures(one by one) two of the three willing to smile, one not even wanting to pretend that HE was happy. The morning went smoothly as the first day of school usually does, for me anyway.  It's a few months down the road when the routine isn't so exciting that waking up has to get earlier and earlier as they get bored with the idea and mundane routine of school.

As I dropped off the last of the kids, Amber & I drove home with much silence in the car only hearing the road pass beneath us. It gave me time to think, to pray and I did.  My prayer was for them to learn, to be examples, to have fun, to be safe and to make many 'good' friends. I know that they are great kids and this shouldn't be a problem for any of them.

Have a good day at school kids!  Mom & dad love you!

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

I don't know if I am unrealistic when it comes to fears or if I am simply a normal human being with the standard allotted amount of things to be afraid of.  I am somewhat of a worrier and I tend to see things as worse than they really are.

When I was a child, I didn't have many things that I was afraid of, in fact I was exactly the opposite.  I was brave, daring and sometimes downright stupid.  I liked the adrenaline rush of rock climbing, repelling, jumping my motorcyle and I had no fear when it came to many outdoor sports like these.

Now I have become a fearful mess.  I am afraid of my own shadow sometimes.  My fears get the best of me, but I am determined to overcome them. These fears are not necessarily in order from greatest to least or visa versa they are just logged for my sanity and attempt to get over them. They are my worries----my real worries.

1.  I  worry that something bad will happen to my kids.

2. I  worry that I will drown.

3. I  worry that my headaches are something more severe than just a headache i.e. stroke, cancer, tumor etc.

4. I  worry that I will die before my kids get old & long before I really want to go.

5. I  worry that my husband will get in a car accident and get majorly injured on his commute to or from work.

6. I  worry about snakes coming near me and sensing my fear of them--therefore attacking me.

7. I  worry that my grandparents don't have much longer to live.

8. I  worry that my siblings don't realize how much I care for them.

9. I worry that I am not accomplishing what my Heavenly Father has sent me here to do.

10.  I worry when I have to make a major decision----it might be the wrong one.

11. I worry about the future of this nation. 

12.  I worry that our food storage isn't sufficient enough for our family.

13.  I worry that my purpose here on earth isn't important enough to earn my stay.

14.  I worry about the concoction of meds that I take---What are the long term affects?

15. I worry about my severe lack of energy.

16. I worry about my parents and wish they could be closer to me.

17. I worry that the fall weather that has already made an irreversible  impression on me for the worst.

18. I worry about my lack of interest in almost everything.

19. I worry about my kids' future.

20. I worry that my intrusive thoughts have damaged my life and enjoyment here on Earth.

Here are some of the things that really get me feeling down, however they are real to me in my obsessive mind.  In my mind, I see them happen, I feel them occur. I watch every detail unfold with horror and pain inside. While you might agree or think that I am a crazy lunatic with my mind screwed on backwards(if at all)these fears and thoughts permeate my brain.  They consume my daily thinking process and it hurts to know that there isn't anything that I can do about that.  While most of these scenarios are not likely, they are indeed "possible" which in my mind makes them bound to happen any day.

I am an intrusive thinker and let my crazy thoughts run away from reality, but I am trying to master them and catch them before it gets too late. Be thankful that you can think clearly and decipher between what is reality and what is not. 

MY TENDER ASHLEY

We found an injured butterfly that couldn't fly and Ashley was the first to show any interest in attending to it's sad state......& she continued for hours.  She found leaves to place it on,  she tried to feed it bugs, she kept it in a safe place and just tried to help the poor little butterfly.  She really didn't want to leave it's side.  I watched her from afar as she patiently waited for it to fly away and when it didn't she made it a cozy little home.  All she wanted was to see this butterfly flap it's wings and 'go find it's mama' as we say around here when we see a lonely bug. But at the same time she was perfectly content with watching over it, moving it around, holding it, keeping it out of our dogs' sight and even talking to it(reassuring it that all would be well). Who knows if this butterfly will survive, but my sweet, caring Ashley was so tender and tried with all her might to help it get better.  She is my sweetheart, my gorgeous girl, my friend and my helper.

I love you Ashley.

A NEW INVENTION...

Last night was a pleasant one, the sun had made it's way over the mountain to the west of our house as it always does and the air was still and warm.  It was a tad bit like a spring night.  We were out in the yard mowing, weed eating, watering and talking about what changes we want to make in the front yard.

Jacob, my all-time electronics guru was begging me to give him a job so that he can earn more playing time(since I limit their lazy sitting-staring-at-the-tv-time.)  I told him that if he got some shoes on, and got the mower and mowed over the clumps of wet grass that the riding mower missed and dumped it into the garden then he could earn more play time.  

I went about my mowing when Maddy comes running to me and says, "Mom! Look at your son's shoes!"  I busted up in laughter when I saw these latex shoes with fingers sticking out all over the place.  He didn't even try to get his toes in the finger slots....it was a sight!  Jacob always has a good idea more often than not, but this one had me thinking. 

 How did they hold up?  Not bad. They kept his feet from getting green, but can I just say that he is one funny kid.  I love his ideas. He just cracks me up.  He never ceases to amaze me.  He later said to me, "Well mom, I didn't want to get my shoes dirty."(which has NEVER stopped him before as he has about 5 pairs of dirty shoes that would have done the job just fine!!!) I guess latex gloves work----the bonus here---- they are cheap and disposable.  I love you Jake!

I HAVE AN ADDICTION!

In my younger years, I was deprived of buying "cool" pants, or pants with name brands on them.  I know that I coveted my friends' pants and the cute clothes that they wore.  I remember desiring to just have ONE PAIR of "cool" pants and I eventually got them. Now that I am in a financial position to purchase pants, any pants....I do. 

  

I don't even check prices. Bill's ways have rubbed off on me, as his philosophy is, "If you like it, just get it."  So that is what I do.   I try them on and if they have a good fit, I take them straight up to the counter and pay the price of the pants without looking at the price tag. If I look, I become a cheapie and tend to talk myself out of getting them, but if I pretend that I don't know that they cost $120.00 then all is well. 

Well, the other day I was in my closet and was a little stunned at the amount of pants(some are capris) that are stacked in my closet.  Some well worn, some with tags still on them and some quite a bit big because I had to go on a shopping spree just days after delivering Amber and now they are huge on me.  I admit that I love jeans.  If it was allowed, I'd wear them to church, weddings, formal functions, funerals etc.  I just love the way they fit, the way they feel and how they slim down my behind a bit.  There is one problem though......I am addicted to buying pants for myself. I spend way to much money on them and it's pretty bad when I walk into the Buckle and the employees call me by name, lead me to the latest jeans and then swiftly shove me into a fitting room, with 5 pairs of jeans that he knows I will like. My other problem-I hate trying on jeans and not getting any after all that effort of straightening my garments over and over suffering the rest of the day with stretched garments that sneak up to the top of my thighs. There must be some reward for the awkwardness of it all right??? 

I vow to spend less money on pants and wear out the ones that I have.  I just simply own too many and will not buy pants for at least 4 months(that's my goal anyway).  I counted my pants and I have 32 pairs!  One for every day?  That's ridiculous.  It needs to come to an end.  Thanks Bill for not complaining, or even saying anything about my many pairs of jeans.  I will do better by not buying impulsively.  Better yet, I'll stay away from the stores that I love.  

MY SWEET MADDY

I feel compelled to post on this darling picture of an older sister(Madison), who loves and cares for her youngest sister(Amber).  We had been at the lake for most of the day swimming, snorkeling, tanning & picnicking. We have spent many of our summer days out there where it is nice and cool and very relaxing.  As many do after a long day of activity, we just wanted to sit.  The kids wanted to veg on the sofa with a cartoon, mom & dad needed a nap and apparently Amber too!

I just love this picture!  Maddy was watching a cartoon and Amber snuggled up to her and that's all she wrote.  It took a while for Madison to realize that Amber had passed out on her leg, because she too was zoned out, just in a different way.

  Madison is one of my sweet, caring daughters and I am thankful for her.  I love her, I just do.  I am thankful for the help that she gives me when I so desperately need it.  She is my sweetheart who can giggle and laugh with me when I need it most, especially when I am on the verge of a breakdown.  She senses my inner feelings and tries to do what she can to help me out. She is the one that teaches me many things and reminds me of what I am doing wrong.  I love her for that.  Thanks for being my daughter Maddy.  I love you. 

HERE ARE MY PARENTS

This is a post that I have been wanting to put on my blog for some time now. A post on my parents.  The daily grind of life is overwhelming me & I feel I am digging a "to do" hole that gets deeper and deeper and I continue to bury myself further each day.  I am posting this before I am completely buried & suffocated to death!

These are my parents, my wonderful parents.  The mom(Cathy) and dad(Dennis) that survived my upbringing!  Looking back now, I don't know how they made it to the day I moved out, without killing me. At the time though, I wasn't sure if I'd make it to adulthood without killing them either!  Isn't that how it goes the majority of the time with teens in the home?

I have so many memories of childhood and a desperate want to hold them forever, but I know and feel many of them slipping away as I continue to age.

My dad, the sweetest, generous, loving person that he is, has rubbed off onto me and I am thankful for that.  His example through the years has been my foundation for life!  He is vivid, full of jokes, loves a good laugh and is very good at whatever he wants to do.  I must mention golfing....he's a pro.   I have to bring up chess.....he's the master.  I will talk of patience.....he's the most patient person I know. I love my dad and all of his qualities.  I love that I have a bit of him in me and I see it shine through periodically.  I love you dad.

My mom, the caring, honest, giving person that she is has also rubbed off onto me and I appreciate that.  Her willingness to step into a conflict, in hopes to resolve it is amazing.  She hates conflict and is ready to stop it at all costs. She is also my foundation for life!  I need to mention her passion for her grand kids.....she loves them more than life itself.  I will bring up her selflessness....she is always putting others before herself.  I have to tell of her sense of humor....she definitely has one! I love my mom and all of her qualities.  I see many of them shine through me often. I love you mom.

This is for you mom and dad!  I love you both with all of my heart!  Thanks for loving & accepting me for who I am & for loving my kids even more than that!

I MISS THIS HOUSE

Remembering the things that used to be---the only world that I knew growing up, the world that was only one block wide almost puts a pit in my stomach, almost makes my  heart burst with longing for what once was.

  

When I was young, time really did stand still, I'm sure of it- although at the time I had no recognition of it.  Days were long, neighbors were nice, friends were everywhere-all the time, seasons lasted longer than possible and crossing 13th East to go to  fill our 'Monster Mugs' for .29 cents, wasn't a bit scary for me and my friends.

 This is the house that has all my memories painted on the walls, walked into the carpet, worn into the lawn and even grown into the the trees that I would talk to when I was lonely. They were once small, but have now matured into giant wonders.  For example, the picture of this Blue Spruce was once so small when we planted it that I could run and jump over it without having it touch me.  I remember every year it got harder until finally I just couldn't do it anymore. 

I have to make mention of those glorious mountains, to the East of us.  Some days I'd notice them in amazement and other days I just let them be.  I loved that they were so close to my house.  I spent many hours on the front steps, marveling at their beauty and massiveness.  Still to this day, I get chills down my spine, when I fly into the Salt Lake valley & see those majestic mountains standing firmly in that same place they were when I left them.  They are a landmark that I can relate to and  a perfect picture from my front steps.  I love those darn mountains and the color changes that take place in the fall....I haven't seen anything prettier than the vibrant colors on the trees....you can see them from miles away.

 

I hope and pray that this house will always be there for me when I go visit Utah.  I pray that mom & dad don't give in and sell it. It is home and it has assisted in the formation of my personality----flaws and all.  So many memories linger in that house that I constantly pray that my parents just stay content there, so that I can always come back home even just to remember.

I thought this house was gigantic---after all, Lisa and I did roller skate in the basement on many occasions(who has a skating rink in their very own basement)? LOL  My sisters and I made the best of that unfinished basement and the very thought of those times makes me want to go back to experience it just once more, with the same fervent attitudes we had then.  

This is the house I love.  This is the only house I know.  My memories are fond and embedded so deeply into my soul, but time is chipping away at them and it makes me frustrated to know one day they will be gone, as the new memories I am making might just perhaps push them aside, as some already have.  I like to hold on to as many memories that I can, but I need those reminders of what it was like back when the world was one block wide. 

HORSE BACK RIDING

This is something that I have been meaning to post about ever since I returned from Utah.  I am a whole month late.  

 While we were in Utah, my sweet brother Nate and his darling wife Brooke, were so generous to let me and the kids take their cute horse "skeeter" riding.  My kids have never been horse back riding before except for on those silly pony rides where theose dumb ponies get dizzy because all they do is circle after circle after darn circle & not only that....it's usually in the blasting heat.  There really is no risk for getting hurt or bucked off of those ponies is there.....do ponies buck?  Oh well who knows.

  Tuesday and Wednesday Nate took the kids and I down to the barn and saddled up "Annie" first and then "Skeeter".  Madison, Jacob & Amber hopped on without hesitation, but my timid Ashley waited until the last moment possible to get up on that horse & once she did we had to peel her off! for one small moment I had a flash of horses on our land in the front of our house, but it scattered quickly when Bill gave me that look of disapproval:(    It was FUN! Jacob and I also rode, but the pictures of us kissing on Skeeter says more for me than seeing me in a helmet!

I had a good time talking to Nate and hearing all that he knows about horses and learning new things that I never knew!  Thanks again Nate and Brooke.....we had a blast!

p.s. are you still going to sell Skeeter to us???   LOL

WELCOME TAYLOR

Friday, August 15, 2008 our nephew and cousin, Taylor Olschewski arrived @ the Eugene airport around 12:30  in the afternoon.  I had a car full of kids who couldn't wait for him to get here.  The whole scenario:

Maddy:  How much longer until we can leave for the airport?

Jacob:    Mom, when is Taylor's airplane getting here?

Ashley:  I can't believe that Taylor is actually coming to our house today!

Amber:  Clueless about this whole thing.

My kids were so very excited to have one of their favorite visitors here.....let's get playing!!!

Our first stop was our house of course to see the kids' rooms, the yard, the hood etc.  And because it was scorching hot, the next stop for the day was Cottage Grove lake.  We gathered towels, goodies, snorkeling gear and off we went.  The water was warm and inviting the shore uncluttered of people and noise and the Oregon blackberry bushes growing just behind us had ripe, juicy, sweet berries calling out to us. We couldn't resist the taste or the mess that you can make with just a few berries.  We made that a day.  It was home to make sleeping arrangements directed by the one and only queen herself....Maddy.

Saturday came quickly and we wanted to make sure that Taylor had a chance to see the ocean while he is here, so off to the coast we went.  As for preparedness goes, well, I thought it would be at least 70 degrees------not today.  It was an all time high of 58 degrees with a huge, frigid north wind eating through our skin and down to our bone(at least we had sweatshirts).  That didn't seem to stop the kids.  Running, jumping, shell searching(high tide so not many shells), wading, rhino riding, and castle building.  They couldn't have been happier just having one another to do things with. A very fun day indeed.

Sunday was a normal church attending day.  Although I think that Taylor is loving the "Crofts" sunday rules vs. the "Ol-ski" Sunday rules.  Sorry Lisa!:)

We are having fun and know that time can not stand still and before we know it Taylor will be homeward bound and we will all be sad to see him go & I will have to suffer through the ride home with 4 whining kids----it's well worth it.  Thanks for coming Taylor! We still have a whole week left-----let's get playing!