When I was a child, I didn't have many things that I was afraid of, in fact I was exactly the opposite. I was brave, daring and sometimes downright stupid. I liked the adrenaline rush of rock climbing, repelling, jumping my motorcyle and I had no fear when it came to many outdoor sports like these.
Now I have become a fearful mess. I am afraid of my own shadow sometimes. My fears get the best of me, but I am determined to overcome them. These fears are not necessarily in order from greatest to least or visa versa they are just logged for my sanity and attempt to get over them. They are my worries----my real worries.
1. I worry that something bad will happen to my kids.
2. I worry that I will drown.
3. I worry that my headaches are something more severe than just a headache i.e. stroke, cancer, tumor etc.
4. I worry that I will die before my kids get old & long before I really want to go.
5. I worry that my husband will get in a car accident and get majorly injured on his commute to or from work.
6. I worry about snakes coming near me and sensing my fear of them--therefore attacking me.
7. I worry that my grandparents don't have much longer to live.
8. I worry that my siblings don't realize how much I care for them.
9. I worry that I am not accomplishing what my Heavenly Father has sent me here to do.
10. I worry when I have to make a major decision----it might be the wrong one.
11. I worry about the future of this nation.
12. I worry that our food storage isn't sufficient enough for our family.
13. I worry that my purpose here on earth isn't important enough to earn my stay.
14. I worry about the concoction of meds that I take---What are the long term affects?
15. I worry about my severe lack of energy.
16. I worry about my parents and wish they could be closer to me.
17. I worry that the fall weather that has already made an irreversible impression on me for the worst.
18. I worry about my lack of interest in almost everything.
19. I worry about my kids' future.
20. I worry that my intrusive thoughts have damaged my life and enjoyment here on Earth.
Here are some of the things that really get me feeling down, however they are real to me in my obsessive mind. In my mind, I see them happen, I feel them occur. I watch every detail unfold with horror and pain inside. While you might agree or think that I am a crazy lunatic with my mind screwed on backwards(if at all)these fears and thoughts permeate my brain. They consume my daily thinking process and it hurts to know that there isn't anything that I can do about that. While most of these scenarios are not likely, they are indeed "possible" which in my mind makes them bound to happen any day.
I am an intrusive thinker and let my crazy thoughts run away from reality, but I am trying to master them and catch them before it gets too late. Be thankful that you can think clearly and decipher between what is reality and what is not.
