That cold and rainy Monday in February, seemed so dreary. The rain kept pouring down, the wind was blowing and the pain in my back grew stronger every hour. The drive to the hospital seemed endless, but the wait.........WORTH IT!
Sunday night, the 18th of February, I lay sleepless in my mom's bed, tossing and turning with the knowledge that tomorrow, Loren would be traveling back home to Blanding, Utah to work and our plans of having our baby this weekend were spoiled. She didn't want to come....at least not yet.
Three o'clock a.m. I woke up with swords in my spine and daggers in my side, but told myself that this was false labor as it had always been before, but this felt different somehow. It just couldn't be time. Was I ready? Was Loren ready? I attempted to endure the pain as it only grew worse and more frequent. I drew a hot bath to ease the pain to no avail. This was it! I had Loren call his work and cancel the day........Madison was on her way!
The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever and the pain grew worse as I tried to keep my composure during the hard contractions. I remember gripping the door handle and twisting and turning in my seat to ease the pain, none of which worked. I can still feel that physical pain that I endured that day. We checked in at the Cottonwood hospital and waited. We waited and waited some more, until finally the nurse rolled me down the hall to the room where I would bring my first child into this world.
As the medicine began to kick in, I was relaxed, but I was quite scared of the realization to have a new person to take care of. Someone who relies on me, completely. I knew that this was the beginning of a new life for me, as well as Loren. How do we do this? Will we do everything right? How can we survive this? Will we be the examples that she needs?
After being in the hospital for 7 hours, I was so ready to have this baby. I had been a childless, married adult until exactly 10:59 p.m. on February 19, 1996.
Being a woman, is wonderful. Being a woman who can give birth, is a miracle.
I frantically called to the nurses to get my newborn to breath, or cry. As they were flipping her feet and rubbing her frail body, I heard only silence, for what seemed like an eternity. Then, her cry. Her wonderful, beautiful, soothing cry. I burst out with tears of my own. Call it pure love. Love for that little angel that just entered into this world....innocent, harmless, beautiful, perfect. Straight from heaven into my arms. I could smell the scent of heaven on her tiny little head. I knew that there were angels hovering over her in that hospital room. I knew that she was a child of God!
To this very day, her tiny frame hasn't changed much. Her brown hair still shimmers in the sun, like it did when she was little . Her freckles still make me melt. Her big eyes, I still envy. Her olive skin I adore. Her beautiful face makes me jealous. Her beauty mark----I wish I could steal. Her pretty hands remind me of her dad. Her personality, I wish I could emulate. Her love, I wish I could capture.
Happy Birthday to you Madison! You are my princess, my love, my life, my example, my daughter, my friend, my little girl who grew up without asking to! Be wise. Be kind. Be yourself. I love you to the moon and back and over again.
Love, MOM
